Matt and I like to philosophize while we're together...especially about people in social situations. One thing that we have both come to learn through experience and observation has to do with the principle of releasing yourself from expectation of outcome.
Take dating for example, or job interviews. We all start off putting our best foot forward. This is not what I am talking about. I'm talking about what happens after the first impression...after you become invested in an idea or a possibility. 90 % of the time, there are subtle changes in your behavior that, ironically, make you less attractive to the thing that you are most wanting. Now, I'm not sayin' I was ever an expert at dating. I got super lucky catching Matt, and there is a lot more I could learn about job interviewing. I'm just stating what I have learned so far, and what Matt has taught me from what he has learned.
These changes in our behavior are hard to control, especially since they are emotional and sometimes even subconscious. Sometimes it feels like the only time we have control is when we don't care that much about something or we aren't really invested yet. Should we give up once we're invested? Should we throw in the towel and admit defeat before it even starts? There has to be a way to release yourself from expectation of outcome. By doing this, you become more confident, less nervous, less emotional, and more capable of handling anything. But how does one do it?
The bad news is that I don't really have an answer. I haven't necessarily mastered this myself. I am an extremely passionate person, and when I want something, I want it a LOT. However, I do realize the importance of being professional and mature, even when a lot is on the line. The best thing I have discovered so far is to focus on what is sure and tangible when I'm feeling stressed about an uncertainty. Hobbies, talents, career, pursuits, goals...the more specific the better. This doesn't take away all of the anxiety, but it sure does alleviate it. This is much easier said than done, but I feel that if I learn to master this, I will grow up a lot.
I know this post is more vague and abstract than what I usually say, but I want to incorporate more of my thoughts and feelings into my posts. Let me know your thoughts if you have any regarding this subject. I'm interested in learning more.
When I read this my first thought was the quote "whether you think you can, or whether you think you can't, you're right." I am a firm believer of this. I believe the expectation of outcome goes along with that. I think part of the emotional/psychological change has to do with that first impression and how we feel it went. Our attitude about the first impression will often effect how we continue.
ReplyDeleteWe can also realize that there are two outcomes for each impression. A bad impression can either discourage or encourage to be better and a good impression can either lull into false security, or pride in a job-well-done and push for greater heights.
I don't know if that made any sense, but I enjoyed reading your thoughts!