Something I was thinking about today, and many days in the past: I am not trying to have a pity party over here. Goodness knows, especially from my last post, how good my life is. I am so blessed, and way lucky. However, one of the adjustments to married life has given me the opportunity to look at my friendships. They say that when you get married, no matter how popular you were before, your relatiohships with your old friends change slightly. This is true...and even though I am so busy and hardly have any extra time to squeeze into my schedule, it can get a little lonely in the dungeon of the HFAC sometimes.
I have always made a point to appear confident. I walk in such a way as to let those around me that I have swagger...ok maybe not swagger, but I am happy with myself and how my life is turning out. It can come across as stuck up sometimes, as I'm beginning to realize, and I don't mean to do that at all. Truth be told, I still need friends. Just because I'm married and I live with my best friend in the whole wide world, doesn't mean that I can't use a little girl-bonding every now and then. For those of you who have not disowned me since I've been married, I really do appreciate you. Occasionally I'll be stopped in the hall by an old friend and asked how I am doing, with no other motive than just pure friendship. When that happens, I kind of want to cry a little out of gratitude. A friend gave me a ride home from school today, and that meant a lot. Sometimes in a world of success and failure, hard work, and accomplishment, it's easy to get lost in it and forget how important relationships are. It's also easy to feel like you have to watch your back when you're doing really well at something. But it doesn't have to be that way. As soon as I put down my flute, I want nothing more than to talk to somebody, and to laugh about something trivial. For those of you who may not know me that well because you might think I wouldn't have much of an interest in being your friend, please know that this is not the case. I really do want to connect with you and learn more about you. Maybe I'm having withdrawalls since my dear friends Nicole and McKenzie both left on their missions. This is good though. It gives me an opportunity to make new friends. I just wish that I was better at it. It's scary sometimes...feeling like the new kid at school with a bad haircut. I don't have a bad haircut, but I think everyone feels self-conscious sometimes about silly things. I am grateful for the opportunity to get over it, but it's still not as easy as one would think. In high school I was such a shy kid, and it still comes out sometimes.
Moral of the story, I want to be your friend, whoever you are out there. :) Thank you so much for reading.