Gwaduation

Alrighty folks. I'm sure you've been hurting for some pictures. I'm just bad at taking pictures. That's probably because my camera broke, and at big events I have to resort to borrowing other people's cameras, which we all know how stinky that is. Good news is that some of these cameras that have been borrowed have been amazingly high quality cameras. So I'm not complaining.

So I graduated with my B.M. in Flute Performance from BYU. No, it's not a B.A. like everyone thinks. It was a B.M. Music majors get to have their own degree. It's not "just" one of the arts. AND we get to wear pink tassels. Lucky us!

Um, I don't remember being nervous, but my face sure looks like I am. Maybe I was worried that I would trip in those 4 1/2 inch heels that I was sporting. Why do I do that to myself?

  

Presh. Little does this picture say how awkward my hug was to this man. Kory, I really didn't mean to stab you with my fake diploma. And I really don't mind if you give me a hug on my graduation day. I just didn't know what was going on. It's been about 4 years since I last graduated, and I think I lost my touch.

You can't really see me, but I'm next to the other music majors with pink tassels. I do feel a bit sorry for the guys. All the other dudes are probably like, "Why is he wearing pink?" Nobody thinks twice about the girls. And if they do, it's more like, "Awww how cute!"

Me with my knight and shining armor, my greatest support, my best friend in the entire world, my husband of one year, Matt Seeley. I seriously don't know how I got this lucky. He even woke up at 7am to come see me! For those of you who know Matt well, you'll understand how much he loves me. ;)

This chica has been such a dear friend to me ever since I got engaged to Matt. She has been there as a shopping buddy, a moving helper, a shoulder to cry on, and just a genuine self-esteem boost when I was feeling down on myself. She even took all these pictures with her fancy new camera! Thank you Whitney Eggleston!

In front of the HFAC, my home for the past 4 years and the next 2 years. I'm sure it'll go by fast, but sometimes it feels like I'll never leave.

I'm so glad that I was able to finish! This past summer has been full of tons of close calls that seemed to drag me further and further from being able to graduate. But I pushed through them and conquered! I feel like I'm ready for my summer break now.

Relief

So for those of you who have been paying attention, I recently attempted to delete my blog. It was taking too much of my time, and I felt strange being so inconsistent with my blog "style." Sometimes I would write about something funny that happened to me at the gym, or what we did last week, or just thoughts of mine about life in general.

After I deleted my blog, I felt a little sad. I love to write. I even took a creative writing class in my undergrad just for fun. It was probably the only class that I took "just for fun" at BYU. How sad is that? The music program pretty much dominates my life. So I decided that there should be moderation in all things--that I could keep my blog, and write about whatever the heck I want, whenever I felt like it. I don't even have to post pictures if I don't want to. (My camera broke, and I don't feel right about buying a new one JUST because I have a blog. I'll wait until I can come up with a better reason to justify spending a couple of Benjamins.)

So now that I am done psyching you all out, I wanted to update you all on my status of graduation. Assuming I passed that dreaded American Heritage final I took on Friday, I'M GRADUATING! Woot! I have precisely two weeks of freedom before I start back up again for my masters degree. So much for freedom. But I'm going to walk anyway. So what if I'll be back at BYU in 14 days? So what if I just want an excuse to celebrate something? The only thing I feel guilty about is waking Matt up at 7am to come watch me walk across stage--although I know he would do it gladly, despite the non-morning person that he is.

I am so relieved. This was a bigger accomplishment than I thought it would be. I just felt like everyone got their degree. No big deal. It shouldn't be too hard, because everyone does it. Hah. I used to think the same thing about pregnancy. I guess that'll come as a rude awakening too one day. :p

Expectation of Outcome

Matt and I like to philosophize while we're together...especially about people in social situations. One thing that we have both come to learn through experience and observation has to do with the principle of releasing yourself from expectation of outcome.

Take dating for example, or job interviews. We all start off putting our best foot forward. This is not what I am talking about. I'm talking about what happens after the first impression...after you become invested in an idea or a possibility. 90 % of the time, there are subtle changes in your behavior that, ironically, make you less attractive to the thing that you are most wanting. Now, I'm not sayin' I was ever an expert at dating. I got super lucky catching Matt, and there is a lot more I could learn about job interviewing.  I'm just stating what I have learned so far, and what Matt has taught me from what he has learned.

These changes in our behavior are hard to control, especially since they are emotional and sometimes even subconscious. Sometimes it feels like the only time we have control is when we don't care that much about something or we aren't really invested yet. Should we give up once we're invested? Should we throw in the towel and admit defeat before it even starts? There has to be a way to release yourself from expectation of outcome. By doing this, you become more confident, less nervous, less emotional, and more capable of handling anything. But how does one do it?

The bad news is that I don't really have an answer. I haven't necessarily mastered this myself. I am an extremely passionate person, and when I want something, I want it a LOT. However, I do realize the importance of being professional and mature, even when a lot is on the line. The best thing I have discovered so far is to focus on what is sure and tangible when I'm feeling stressed about an uncertainty. Hobbies, talents, career, pursuits, goals...the more specific the better. This doesn't take away all of the anxiety, but it sure does alleviate it. This is much easier said than done, but I feel that if I learn to master this, I will grow up a lot.

I know this post is more vague and abstract than what I usually say, but I want to incorporate more of my thoughts and feelings into my posts. Let me know your thoughts if you have any regarding this subject. I'm interested in learning more.

Out of Order

On the Fourth of July this year, Matt and I went with our dear friend Whitney to a rodeo in Oakley! Can I just say that I love the cute little country towns here in Utah?

The drive there was lovely. We listened to a bunch of old country, like George Strait and Texas pride songs. Whitney's not from Texas, but we're indoctrinating her. I had tons of fun getting candid pictures. Tee hee.

We actually arrived at the rodeo a few hours early,  hoping to catch some of the younger children riding on ponies and such. We were a little late for that, so we just played frisbee for a couple of hours. When we were done, we were lying on the grass, and Whitney said something that made me laugh, as usual. As I was breathing in between chuckles, I inhaled a bug! It was some sort of flying insect, and I could feel it flying around in my lungs. Disgusting, I know. It took like half an hour to cough it up. I'm sure you're dying to see a picture of this. Don't worry. I anticipated that.

It's nice to know that the human body does indeed know how to regulate itself. *shudder*

We had a couple more hours to kill before the rodeo so we found some nice spots around Oakley to take some pictures. It was pretty cloudy most of the day, but it was still beautiful. I must say, I don't know what Matt was up to in that picture, and Utah has some of the strangest sounding city names. And even Oregon girls can be country girls. ;)

The actual rodeo was thoroughly entertaining. Being from Texas, I am ashamed to say that this was my first rodeo. I know, I know. I'm a slacker. I am becoming ever more impressed with the country-ness of some Utah people. It was quite the experience.

I am kicking myself for not getting a picture, but the entire time we were all sitting by Sister Cook, the first counselor in the Young Women General Presidency! Whitney was social enough to talk to her and get a picture with her, but the entire time, I had no idea who she was. I just knew that they were nice people and they knew a lot about rodeos. I guess that's what I get for being off in my own little world.

Even though this summer has been mighty stressful, we have had a lot of fun. Okay, now its back to homework!