Grocery Store Therapy

I don’t know what it is about grocery stores, but consistently they fill me with such peace. Sometimes I go to grocery stores just to meditate. I feel domestic, in a good way. It brings me back to when I was a young child, and my mom would take me with her to “run on the arronds” and I would examine all of the beautiful colors of the fresh produce, smell the delectable scents from the bakery, and usually get a gumball if I behaved.

Sometimes, when I’m on an aisle where nobody is looking, I’ll run with my cart and ride it for a while. Deep down I know that there are security cameras watching everything I’m doing, but I don’t care. I’m a child again. All of my worries and responsibilities are gone. I get to focus on nothing else besides the delicious meal that I’m about to make.

I don’t know how much fun grocery shopping will be when I have screaming babies hanging on me for dear life. Maybe I’ll bribe them with gumballs.

That Girl

Sometimes I really wish I could bring my camera into the gym with me and not look like a creeper.

All too often I see “that girl.” You know, the one who is going to meet her prince charming at the gym. She struts into the gym with all kinds of swagger wearing her hot pink sports bra and playboy spandex, appears almost char-coaled from tanning, and is wearing…hoop earrings? Wait…wouldn’t that hurt if you were going to exercise? Little do I know, she apparently doesn’t plan on exercising.

I decide to stretch a little longer by the yoga balls to see what she does next. Every time, without fail, “that girl” gets on a treadmill or some other cardio device, lightly jogs for about 8 minutes, stretches for about 5 minutes, looks around for someone to approach her, and then leaves. I guess today just wasn’t her day.

I’m all for looking great when you exercise. After all, it can motivate you to work harder. But come to the gym to work out, people! 

In my observations, “that girl” never finds what she’s looking for.

Gym people are so entertaining sometimes.

Pocket Classics

For those of you who have not heard of this incredible literary tool, now is the time! My husband, who is very proud of his complete 72-book-set, has opened my eyes to a busy woman’s solution to becoming more informed of classic books’ story lines. 

Like many of you, one of the many reasons I don’t read more is because I don’t have make enough time. Another reason is that these sometimes humungous books they call the “classics” are somewhat intimidating and scream “COMMITMENT!”

I was talking to a friend the other day, and she was reading a book about how you don’t have to necessarily commit to finish every book that you pick up and start reading. There is no law against deciding that you don’t want to finish a book. Who would have thought? You can decide whether or not the book is worth finishing. It kind of goes against the idealistic view of “finishing what you start,” and I am not dogging on the merit of that statement! I just choose to look at this as granting yourself with more agency over your time. That way, you can look at a book and not be afraid of what you might be sacrificing by picking it up. You might be more inclined to read more! (Other ideas on how to make reading more efficient are mentioned in another friend’s blog, The Story Girl. You should check it out!)

Another solution instead of simply putting a book down forever is the Pocket Classic solution. These are short, 50 page little comic books that tell the story line of major books (which are often asked for on summer reading lists for high schoolers) in a fun, easy to read way. They can literally fit in your pocket (if you squish them a little…) You can skim through one of these in like 45 minutes, decide if you like it or not, and invest in reading the thorough version later if you want! If nothing else, you won’t feel like an idiot at the next dinner party when literary people are discussing esoteric book language. You’ll most likely be able to at least keep up. Spark notes were always a godsend, but these are so much more cute and entertaining! Not to mention, they’re great for kids!

I don’t think these books are in print any more, but we were able to find a lot of them on Craigslist and eBay. Enjoy!

Do What You Love

This is a phrase I have heard time and time again. “Do what you love.” Up until now, though, I don’t think I have fully internalized what this means.

Part of the reason it has been hard for me to blog as consistently as I used to is because I don’t know how personal I should be about my life on the internet. I’m still figuring that out, but here is a little piece of me that I don’t usually share with people unless I am face-to-face with them.

When I was in high school, I always knew I wanted to become great at the flute. So, that’s what college was going to be about for me—becoming great at the flute. Needless to say, it has been so much more than that, for which I am grateful. What kept me going through all the hard times was that I was “doing what I loved.” No matter how tired I was or how much I was sacrificing my health to be the best I could be, I was doing it because I loved it…right?

One thing that I have come to understand (through experience, mind you…I wouldn’t listen to people when they didn’t tell me what was fun to hear) is that what you become great at, what you do all day every day, what you career is—that’s work. Sure, it can definitely be enjoyable and can fill you with inspiration, but to become great at something, you have to pay the price. Once you decide to pay that price, it stops being your hobby. It’s hard work. There’s no way around it.

When I was a TA for physical science, my boss would tell me (in my moments of frustration with my major…she was a great psychologist) is that in order for me to stay motivated in music while working this hard is to do something that I really enjoy doing, just for the sake of loving life. It seems counter-intuitive, really, to sacrifice valuable practice hours to take time and smell the roses for a bit every day (or every week…whatever you can manage) to actually become better at what you do. It didn’t make sense to me. However, I have come to realize that when I maintain a hobby outside of my specialty, I am much happier with myself.

Do what you love. Don’t turn what you love into a job, unless you want it to be your job. Then find something else that you love and do it often.

I want to apologize for being so negative about my graduate school experience so far. After thinking this over, I see that in order to savor these moments, I have to make sure that I am doing what I love, at least some of the time. Don’t get me wrong—I love the flute. It’s just important to have an out.

Do what you love!

Blue Pens

I’m sure every one of you out there has some little quirk about yourselves that if you actually took the time to think about it, you would think you’re pretty weird. 

One said quirk came out when I was teaching one of my flute students (which is unfortunately, no rare occurrence) and I was trying to write a change of schedule down in my planner. I had about 2 pencils in front of me, and I dug around in my purse to try and find a pen. I found one, but it was a black pen. I was well equipped in that moment to make my written memo. For some reason, however, I really really wanted to find my blue pen. As I kept digging, I became more and more anxious. No blue pen….no blue pen…eek! My posture turned primal and I delved into my purse like a ravenous cheetah. Luckily, the blue pen eventually turned up and my heart rate returned to normal. Code red…off.

After taking a look at my somewhat confused student, I realized how absurd that must have looked. Thinking about the situation, I now realize that I have always had a fixation for blue pens as opposed to black ones. Don’t ask me why.

Cheers to blue inked pens!

Grad School Experience

Look what I get to read!

This month's feat is to write a 15 page paper for my pedagogy desk class. Sorry, I'm distracted by my messy desk. One of the many adventures of being a graduate student is to wrestle your desk into submission...sometimes you win, sometimes your desk wins. I suppose it could be worse.

Not only do I need to write a 15 page paper for my pedagogy class, but I also have to write a 20 page paper for my researching the recital class this semester. Lucky me! On top of that, my oral exams are next semester, and I'm supposed to be a master of all flute pedagogues, literature, mechanical developments, and a master of everything else having to do with music. From what I understand, at the end of next semester, I will have two sessions of standing before intimidating Juilliard graduates for 2 hours, telling them everything I know about music. Everything. If I fail this exam, my degree is over, and I receive no diploma. No pressure, right?

So I decided to catch up on some light reading each day. Don't you wish you had my life? Oh and the best part is that I have to find time to practice my flute. It's kind of bizarre how I can play my flute for 9 hours a day, and yet only take credit for 2 of them toward my "official practice hours." I'm like a lawyer, scrounging for "billable hours." I never thought I would be able to relate my life to the legal field so closely.

A few pictures showed up on facebook that describe my experience so far quite concisely.

Maybe when I graduate I will be able to blog more. I won't say that this experience hasn't brought to pass a fair number of meltdowns. I also won't say that I'm able to get enough sleep or be the most cheerful person for my darling husband 100% of the time. However, when this is all done, I'm bound to be one proud woman.